5 week old paranoia...

So we had a kid about 5 weeks ago. We pretty much means my wife did it and I posted it on Facebook. The first few days were crazy. Up was down, down was left, no sleep. But we got out of the hospital in one piece and everyone was just fine. He ate, he slept, he breathed. Just what we wanted.

But then came week 4. Not so much with the sleeping. And the eating was happening ALL THE TIME, but not as calm as before. So clearly the first time parents went into overdrive. Rampant googling of colic, normal sleeping patterns, normal eating patterns. Is he okay when he only sleeps for 20 minutes at a time? When he cries even when he's been fed?

So we tried the gripe water (yeah, I spelled that right). We tried the moving his feet counter-clockwise to relieve gas. We tried taking him outside, bringing him inside, feeding him right away, waiting to feed him. We tried the football hold, the pillow, the gripe water, and I said that already! Just nothing but crying and flailing and crying. Do you know how it feels to have the person who's whole life you're responsible for be suffering and you can't do a thing about it??

Is this some kind of digestive disorder? Did we accidentally have him looking at the tv screen when the ad for the next slasher flick came on and now he's traumatized? Am I holding him "wrong"? Is he pissed off all the time and will this some day come out when he's 22 and a meth addict and we're bailing him out of jail and he says, "Dad, why didn't you just figure out what was bothering me at 5 weeks, my life could have been totally different and I wouldn't be here right now picking scabs off my face and playing Frogger all day"?

And then we gave him a hat.

Problem solved.